


Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

by Kaerran



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaerran/pseuds/Kaerran
Summary: The Iifa Tree collapses, the world goes dark......and Kuja opens his eyes, not quite giving up yet.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. the last syllable of recorded time

**Author's Note:**

> The outline for this fic has existed in some form in my head for years. It popped into my head at some point after finishing IX, but not immediately, and the dog ate that memory card so I couldn't date it even if I wanted to. BUT this is the substantially altered by time version, not the original. I wanted to post SOMETHING for 20th anniversary though. Chapters start out short, sorry  
> title is stolen from Macbeth, the first chapter title is picked from the same monologue.

Kuja slowly opens his eyes. He is cold, in pain, and being pressed into what passes for the ground in the depths of the Iifa Tree. He also cannot see a thing.

It turns out that being somewhat buried alive in a mound of roots deep, deep down is extremely dark. It is not comforting. Neither is it comforting to figure out that the dead weight on top of him is, in fact, Zidane. 

Kuja takes stock of the situation and reaches for what little magic he has left to him. 

It is, of course, extremely dangerous to try to Warp to somewhere unknown, but Kuja did not have enough magic left for "known", just a more generic "farther out". Kuja wraps an arm around Zidane and casts the spell. 

He does not remember arriving. 

When he opens his eyes again, he is heartened to see some light filtering down to them. Zidane is still a dead weight on top of him, but now that he can see, Kuja is far more optimistic. He has survived worse than this. They _both_ have. 

It takes some effort for Kuja to push Zidane off of him, and he almost doesn't manage to stand. But stand he does, and even with how weak he is, he still makes an effort to reach down and lift Zidane as well. 

He is much less successful at this. 

Zidane's weight is far more than he can manage right now, but he will be damned if he leaves Zidane to die here after all the effort he made to save him. 

Therefore, it is entirely is own fault that they do not make it very far. 

Kuja drags the teenager to what might actually be a sunbeam filtering through the root system before his legs give out. He has done what he can. Surely... surely Zidane would not blame him for this. Kuja pushes the not-quite memory of Garland's disdain away and lets himself fall beside Zidane. At least they will not die down there, sealed in the dark. Kuja takes what comfort he can from the light surrounding him, even as a shadow passes across it, and closes his eyes again.


	2. lost your way, a fallen knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow no one is dead yet. This is very surprising to Kuja, but at least the Iifa Tree failed at its last job. Now he has to face their rescuers.

The first thing he notices on waking this time is the smell of woodsmoke.

This is somewhat alarming, and so Kuja wrenches his eyes open. Still, the first thing he sees is not the overarching canopy of roots, or fire, or smoke, but a few twinkling stars peeking out between the clouds. 

Kuja did not expect to see the sky again.

Sounds finally filter into his foggy mind; the low murmur of voices, the crackle of a fire, and what might even the faint sizzle of something cooking. 

They are... rescued?

Upon consideration, Kuja does not know why the concept of rescue is so alien. Of course someone has come for Zidane. In retrospect, he cannot imagine how Zidane managed to peel himself from his friends at all, especially for himself. But it does beg the question: why did they rescue him as well? 

Kuja sighs, and lets his eyes close. He shifts a bit, just enough to ascertain that he is covered by a blanket, and... his wounds are bandaged? For a moment, he is surprised, before shame sweeps through him. It was different when Zidane saw him, defeated and vulnerable, but he cannot conceive of anyone _else_ doing so. It is the antithesis of everything he is--everything that he has worked for.

Which... is not what Zidane wants him to be, nor what he _should_ be anymore. Besides... A far better question is... why is he not dead? 

He pushes the shame away and considers. He cannot think of a single person who would spare him. After all, the war on Gaia is because of him. The majority of the dead may not be by his hand, but they are all dead for his purposes. He also cannot think of anyone who would come looking for him, specifically.

So. It must be one of Zidane's friends, but they, too, want him dead. And yet, here he is, bandaged and left to rest. Surely whatever Zidane told them that allowed him to jump into the Iifa tree wasn't so convincing that they would completely reverse all prior opinions and leave him alive. 

On the other hand it cannot be Zidane's friends, since he is bandaged, not Cured. Zidane has two white mages counted amongst his friends, as well as a few tricks that most of the others have. Kuja supposes that they might have just... chosen not to heal him. No matter what Zidane says, he still doubts he would deserve it.

That is a discussion he should have with Zidane, however, and he is not entirely certain of where Zidane actually is. Taking a great deal of care, Kuja manages to push himself up.

The voices, which Kuja has been disregarding for some time, abruptly stop.

There is some gesturing amongst the group around the fire before one sighs, stands, and comes to join Kuja.

It turns out that Kuja was rather incorrect about _which_ group of friends this might be. He was expecting the canary and her entourage, and not the acting troupe that had taken his brother in. The one approaching him is the one who plays the lead in _I Want To Be Your Canary_ every year. 

Kuja is not actually sure what the actors are like. He has seen Tantalus before, but only on stage, in character for the roles they bear. He rather suspects they are not _actually_ like their characters, since the leader of the troupe never seemed to be megalomaniacal and scheming and the one named Blank not traitorous--and that _must_ be his real name, as Lord Avon had more sense than that. Kuja has a hard time believing it though, since even Garland had more sense than that, and his invincible airship was named Invincible.

This is slightly unfair, as Kuja does not actually know the meaning of his own name. For all he knows, it means "one" or something equally inane in an obscure Terran dialect that Garland never deigned to share with his creations. It actually seems unfortunately likely. 

Kuja supposes it would be unfair to hold this train of thought against the bandanaed actor, since he did not actually cause it, but Kuja is quite tempted to do so. He does manage to rein himself in though, since these people have not actually done him any harm. Instead he just watches the other walk up and find a place to sit.

They sit in silence for a moment before Kuja says, cautiously, "I suppose I ought to thank you."

Marcus's actor gives him a look that might include raised eyebrows, if Kuja could see them. "You suppose?"

Kuja half shrugs uneasily. "Well, for the rescue and not killing me immediately."

The actor shifts slightly. "...were you expecting us to?" he asks eventually.

"Yes?" Kuja says, trying not to be confused. "As far as I know, no one on your planet _wants_ me alive." He pauses, before remembering to add, "Except, perhaps, Zidane." 

"Perhaps," says the actor in an odd tone of voice. Kuja assumes it is a question of some sort, but cannot imagine what the question is. Still, since the actor is noticing something he isn't, Kuja considers for a minute. 

"He did insist on coming after me, even when I tried to send him away." After a moment, Kuja frowns. "Where is he? If you found me, you certainly found him."

The actor shrugs slightly. "Blank's looking after him."

"Ah." After a moment, Kuja realizes that probably needs more, and adds, "Good."

An awkward silence falls. Kuja isn't certain what the actor is looking for, and can't really bring himself to care. Either he will make his intent known, or it won't matter. In the meantime, Kuja busies himself with worrying about Zidane. While he wishes the actor had been more forthcoming about Zidane's condition, Kuja cannot blame him for his reticence. It has not been very long since Zidane was fully dedicated to halting the war that Kuja had begun, but Kuja has no idea what Zidane told everyone after his trip to Terra.

Kuja... is worried about that, if he must be honest with himself, which he is now trying to be. He can't think of anything he did wrong there--all right, maybe gloating about the elephant-lady in front of the canary was not the most appropriate thing but other than that... Garland _needed_ to die, and Terra needed to fall to help destroy everything Garland had worked for...

Luckily, before Kuja can get himself worked up over what happened in Pandemonium _again_ , a small commotion breaks out by the fire. Both he and the actor look over, and the redhead waves the bandanaed actor over. He immediately leaves Kuja's side to join his compatriots, leaving Kuja to ponder their actions.

No, it is fairly obvious what has happened. Zidane must have done something, and since there is no panic immediately obvious, he has probably regained consciousness. That is... good.

Thinking of Zidane turns his thoughts back to more recent happenings. He still does not remember how they came to be in the situation he woke to, and he suspects he never will. He thinks he can remember pieces of a conversation, but not piece it together, nor understand how Zidane came to be slumped over him. Even his own waking and attempt at escape seems distant and unreal. Kuja frowns as he wracks his mind, trying to understand why his own memory is suddenly fallible, and worries. Is this somehow also Garland's fault...?

A touch to his shoulder shocks him out of his thoughts, but before he can react in any way beyond a flinch, the bandanaed actor is already stepping back and giving him space. He does not speak until after Kuja manages to regain some of his composure.

"You should get some more sleep," the actor says.

Kuja frowns. "Surely I have have done nothing but sleep," he says, not allowing it to turn into the question he wishes to ask.

Still, the actor sees through his thin facade. "You and Zidane are both pretty badly hurt," he points out, "and Zidane is worried about you."

Kuja is a master manipulator and knows when someone is manipulating him. However, he must applaud the actor; he won't argue with Zidane, especially since he was so caught up in himself that he didn't even notice if Zidane was able to look over. Of course, the actor could be lying, but Kuja also has a vested interest in complying with them. For now, Tantalus controls access to both Zidane and escape, and that is all Kuja can care about for the moment. 

He nods curtly, and carefully lowers himself back down. It is far more difficult than he imagined, and he is surprised to find his arms trembling with the effort. He is in far worse shape than he imagined, apparently, and the actor's advice seems even more appropriate. It does not take long for him to drift off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> marcus is just like "why can't you say thanks normally" and kuja is like "what's thanks". things I am ALREADY sick of: kuja's inability to use anyone's names besides zidane. ughhh why do you have to be a nicknamer. it would be significantly more ic for them to be far more poetic but then I wouldn't be able to keep track of the characters.  
> chapter title stolen from Otherworld, from FFX.


	3. the weight of tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuja does not adjust well to being watched by Tantalus.

Several days pass. When Kuja is awake, he is usually watched by the redhead or the bandanaed actor, and as much as it galls him, he cannot fault their precautions. Likewise, he is galled by the fact that the entire troupe seems determined to use their _I Want To Be Your Canary_ pseudonyms, but those are the only names they choose to use around him. 

Tantalus is also keeping him sequestered from the fire and their little group, and while Zidane has--quite loudly--made his negative opinion about this known, Kuja is rather grateful for the space. The concept of being surrounded by their little family unit at all times makes him ill, and he cannot tell if they are separating them to protect Zidane or to be sympathetic to his needs.

He rather suspects the former, due to the fact they have not allowed the two of them to interact in any fashion beyond yelling across the campsite--something which Zidane is happy to engage in, and Kuja is far too exhausted to consider. Zidane is rather displeased by this lack of response, but expresses it to the rest of the troupe instead of at Kuja. Kuja pretends he isn't thankful for the reprieve.

It is not the only problem that Kuja is having with his recovery. He has lost all sense of time, and it turns out that the two of them were lost in the Iifa Tree far longer than Kuja had expected. March is long past, and May is nearly upon them by the time he thinks to ask. It unsettles him, how much of his dwindling life has slipped through his fingers as he lay in darkness and injury. He tries to put it from his mind, but a voice he cannot banish continues to whisper the same doubts that now lie heavy upon him. After all, what is the point of healing when you have no future? 

Sometimes, when he is feeling particularly beset by the closeness of his impending death, he asks his current companion about Tantalus. Thus Kuja learns exactly why they are set up in a semi-permanent camp entirely too close to the Tree for his liking; Tantalus is actually semi-stranded. The troupe leader had somehow persuaded the Lindblum regent to allow them to search for Zidane, but while they were expecting airship support for their return, they have none. Lindblum's airship fleet is grounded, except the one that had already been fitted with a non-Mist engine. The fleet is being retrofitted, of course, but Tantalus cannot just load the two of them onto an airship and fly home. Instead, they are being left to heal enough that they can hopefully walk themselves to somewhere safer. 

Unfortunately, Kuja suspects that "somewhere safer" is in fact a place he has no interest in visiting again. The only settlements on this continent are the ruined summoner village, the dwarven city, and the village built by the dolls he created. 

The ones he manipulated with his knowledge of their expiry dates.

He'd thought he was being clever, creating disposable puppets that could be thrown into war and discarded for any reason. That could never be a threat to his power because they would never live long enough to rebel. Now he wonders if he was subconsciously recreating himself in the black mages--doomed to die when their creator would live many times longer than their own brief life spans. How could he face them, now that he knew exactly what fate he had given them?

And, worse, he knew there was no chance he'd convince Tantalus not to head there as soon as he and Zidane were mended. After all, one of Zidane's comrades presumably now resides there, and Kuja could not imagine trying to convince Zidane to abandon the prototype in favour of himself. The most he could hope for was this little reprieve before being forced to face his failures. 

Kuja does not particularly enjoy either vision of the future, and instead spends as much time as he can sleeping. A small part of him is offended by how much of his little remaining time he is wasting, but it is his to waste, and he cannot think of a better way to spend it anyway.

If someone had offered him a _choice_ he might have chosen to return to his palace or the sleepless city just to have some control of his own fate, except he cannot even imagine returning to either any time soon. The desert is _his_ , in a way no other place is, the palace he carved out for himself--but that, of course, is the problem. It is his, and his alone, a refuge where he no longer needs act out the various roles he's adopted. Now, though, it is not a refuge, as the idea of the cavernous echoing halls fill him with dread. He has already escaped dying alone and unmourned once, he does not think he can do it again. On the other side of the coin, Treno has never been a refuge, and he does not have the energy to put on that persona again.

And so Kuja wastes the days away, until finally, something changes.

He wakes to find someone sitting beside him. It turns out Zidane has had enough and has not only moved himself over to Kuja, but he also appears to be trouncing both the redhead and the bandanaed actor at some sort of card game.

Of course, Kuja moving enough to register this also disturbs Zidane, who immediately shuffles the cards into a pile and shoves them into his pouch. The redhead grumbles incomprehensibly, and the bandanaed actor elbows him in response. The three of them sit awkwardly for a minute before Zidane sighs and says, "Shoo."

"Nope," says the redhead.

"Yep," says Zidane.

"Not happening," says the redhead.

Kuja gives the bandanaed actor a confused look, he only gets a shrug in return.

"Look, I just want to talk to him _without_ you guys breathing down his neck," Zidane says, crossing his arms, then wincing and quickly dropping them.

Ah. Of course he is. Kuja sighs and slowly pushes himself up. "They are only trying to protect you," he says tiredly. Although it does bother him, he can't say he doesn't deserve it.

An awkward silence falls. The two actors exchange looks, before the redhead sighs heavily, stands, and stomps off. The bandanaed actor follows him, leaving Kuja alone with Zidane for the first time since their rescue.

After a pause, Kuja says, "I would be more proud of myself, but I find myself unsure how I did that."

Zidane chuckles roughly. "I think you reminded him that if you were going to hurt me, you woulda done it back there."

"...ah," Kuja says. When Zidane does not add anything, he finally quietly says, "Although you are correct, I didn't..."

"Didn't what?" Zidane asks curiously.

Kuja sighs. "Your family has every right to distrust me," he says instead.

Zidane's ever waving tail stills for a moment, and when it starts moving again, the pattern it weaves is uneven and stilted. "It's... a bit more complicated than that," he says uneasily. "They uh... kinda kicked me out. Twice."

"That seems difficult to believe, considering they came looking for you after you threw yourself into fairly certain death," Kuja says before he can stop himself.

Zidane flinches. "Yeah, they're pretty mad about that too. Uh. I... wanted to know if you were okay...?"

It takes a minute for Kuja to change gears. "Why wouldn't I be...?"

Zidane holds up a hand to tick points on. "Well, you're sleeping all the time, you're not really talking to anyone, I'm pretty sure everyone's had to badger you into eating anything, and I think you're avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you," Kuja says. "I just don't feel like bellowing like some uncouth ruffian."

"Gee, thanks," Zidane says with a grin.

After a pause Kuja sighs again. "As for the others... well, I can't imagine any of them want to talk to _me_."

"They're not _that_ bad," Zidane says.

"I manipulated nearly the entirety of Gaia into a war designed entirely to give me the ability to destroy Garland, show him exactly what I thought of him, and rule what remained of both worlds, with no particular thought of how the people of Gaia would react or even be affected. I suspect they have a rather negative opinion of me, even if Lindblum was the least damaged of the cities," Kuja says dryly. He pauses for a while before adding, "I also don't have much to discuss with them in general."

"Marcus mentioned you'd asked about Tantalus." 

"I will admit to being slightly baffled," Kuja muses. "They put on few performances a year, and yet have the standing to coax the ruler of Lindblum to drop them off on a nearly hopeless search. Surely mere actors shouldn't have so much political clout... Is the regent as much of a fan as your canary?"

"Oh, uh..." Zidane scratches the back of his head. "You do know that Tantalus isn't _just_ an acting troupe, right? It's kinda a front. Well, plus the boss was friends with Cid Fabool VIII _and_ they were already on board the Hilda Garde III." 

Kuja is rather stunned by these revelations. Suddenly a whole realm of rather unfriendly possibilities arises. "I'm sorry, but the concept of the _premiere_ Lord Avon performers not _actually_ being actors never even occurred to me."

Zidane gives him a half smile. "We're thieves."

Something about this troubles Kuja. "It doesn't make any _sense_. You, as far as I can tell, make far more in any performance of _I Want To Be Your Canary_ than _any_ heist you could pull off. Or at least you did before you threw it all away to attempt a kidnapping."

"Hey, we succeeded at that kidnapping!" Zidane says hotly.

Kuja scoffs, but drops that subject since the redhead is glaring at him again from the fire. He has learned the redhead spends _most_ of his conscious time glaring at Kuja, he just had not noticed due to the ever-present fringe. "Nevertheless, I find myself disappointed that one of the best known acting troupes on Gaia is, according to you, a sham."

"We're not a _sham_ ," Zidane says with less vehemence.

Kuja sighs. "All right, a front, as you already said."

Zidane sighs. "Well, I mean, it's not _entirely_ a front. Ruby has a theatre now and everything..."

Kuja wonders why he hasn't met the one member of Tantalus who _doesn't_ use a pseudonym. "Oh?"

Zidane spends the next half hour or so talking about this Ruby and her performances. Kuja finds the story surprisingly intriguing, that of the one member of Tantalus who is more interested in performing than whatever the rest of the troupe gets up to, and has consequently been left behind more often than not since the disaster of the kidnapping. Indeed, it transpires that the main reason she is not here is that she chose to stay in Alexandria rather than follow Tantalus to Lindblum to rebuild.

Kuja does not get a lot of time to consider Ruby, however, since the stories are interrupted by none other than Baku. Kuja hasn't seen all that much of the boss of Tantalus, as the man seemed generally uninterested in him. Or at least he hasn't seemed to, but while he seems to be primarily here to send Zidane back to rest, he continues to tower over Kuja even after Zidane leaves.

It is rather unnerving to have someone loom over him. There is only one being who has ever truly stood taller than Kuja, although it is possible the bounty hunter would as well if he had ever deigned to stand straight. As it is, Tantalus' boss seems to be around the same height as Kuja, except Kuja is sitting on the ground and the troupe leader seems to have no interest in sitting. 

They remain there in silence for some time, long enough that the redhead wanders over to let his boss that Zidane is apparently asleep. His boss nods, and the redhead departs again, looking uneasy. Kuja is quite unsure about what is going on, but continues to rely on his new silences to tide him through uncertainty. 

Eventually the troupe leader does speak. 

"So," says the troupe leader, "I suppose you've got things you wanna talk about."

"Not really," Kuja says. 

"Huh. Why not?" 

Kuja half shrugs. "There isn't really anything for me to say."

"You don't care what happens to you?" the troupe leader says. 

"Of course I care," Kuja says. "But what I say doesn't really matter. You will do whatever you'll do, without a care about what I think."

"Izzat so?"

Kuja is rather unsure what the troupe leader is playing at. "I don't see why my preferences would overrule those of anyone else here."

"Gotta hear what you have to say to tell if they would do that," the troupe leader points out.

Kuja sighs "I am capable of doing basic reasoning on my own. There are only three settlements on this continent _at all_ , and one is ruined, one is most likely hostile to our interests, if my understanding of the dwarves is correct, leaving only one place we _could_ access. My preferences do not matter at all."

"You sure know a lot about this place," the troupe leader observes.

Kuja waves a hand. "I happen to own a place of residence on the far side of the continent."

"You didn't think we coulda gone there instead?"

Kuja suppresses a wince. "It is inaccessible from this part of the continent, except by airship or boat. It is also generally unknown to most, meaning your regent would be unable to find you when he did manage to send a ship."

"What makes you think he'd send one?" the troupe leader drawls. 

"Zidane mentioned it," Kuja replies carefully. 

The troupe leader sighs. "Never did know how to keep his mouth shut," he says, although without rancor. "What else did he say?" 

"He mentioned that you are, apparently, not actors at all. I'm quite disappointed about that." 

The troupe leader makes a disgusted noise. "He would spill that. Somehow he's never figured out there's a reason he shouldn't tell everyone what he is. That your fault?" 

The question unbalances Kuja completely. "Excuse me?" 

Even with the goggles on, the troupe leader's gaze bores into him. "He says you're his brother. So you musta known him before he got left. And how."

"Well... Yes," Kuja says, finally realizing that the friendly demeanour was just the precursor to this interrogation. "He was my..." It takes him a minute to find the words--and the ability to say them. "Well. Replacement, although Garland never directly said it." 

The troupe leader's menacing manner evaporates. "Whaddya mean?" 

Kuja looks down. "It is as I said. Garland was displeased with me and so he made another to replace my rebellious self. I recognized the threat and removed it, and was banished to Gaia for my troubles, but at least it was not destruction." He shrugs slightly, the motion still pained. "There were worse possibilities."

"You thought a child was a threat?" 

"Of course he was," Kuja says with a sigh. Really, sometimes Gaians were so tedious. "I was created to help Garland, and then eight years later he makes some wretched crying creature and places me in charge of its care. Zidane was unique, and it was clear that whatever had happened, Garland felt he needed something _different_ than... me."

The troupe leader ponders his words for a moment, then says, "You were a kid when you left him?" 

"Of course not," Kuja scoffs. "Being a child would mean _growing_ and if there's one thing Garland would not allow his creations to do, it would be to _grow_."

"Except Zidane," says the troupe leader. 

"Oh, no, I doubt he would have grown," Kuja says grouchily. "Grown implies a natural progression. I suspect he would have been _molded_ into _perfection_."

The troupe leader stands there for a minute more, and then stomps off. Kuja isn't sure what he was looking to get out of the conversation, but he finds himself hoping that he didn't get it. For all that he owes Tantalus for this extension to his life, he still finds himself resenting their heavy-handed arrangement of it.

Still, the manner in which their boss left has resulted in more glares than usual, so Kuja decides to cut his losses, and return to the refuge of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baku MEANT to guilt kuja over what he feels is the attempted murder of baby zidane. kuja probably is just like "don't be stupid he wouldn't have DIED he's a genome also plausible deniability" and neither have any idea how completely off their frame of references are to each other.  
> also oops it's been a month. chapters will be slow, sorry. at least i remembered to add tags this time  
> chapter title from tomorrow and tomorrow, the ending theme of XIV: shadowbringers. this feels very meta to me


End file.
